


Without The Fall

by talesofeden



Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: Incest, Izumi Iori (mentioned) - Freeform, M/M, Underage Drinking, more or less a date, tenn is so weak
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 03:54:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29429856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/talesofeden/pseuds/talesofeden
Summary: Tenn knew it was a mistake from the moment he agreed to go out with Riku on their birthday. However, he did expect himself to have at least a little more self control, instead of destroying the distance he spent years building up in less than a day.Or: I wrote a tennriku birthday fic half a year before the due date.
Relationships: Kujou Ten/Nanase Riku
Comments: 11
Kudos: 29





	Without The Fall

Tenn can see Riku nervously bouncing back and forth on his feet from across the street already.  
He wonders when he would spot him, he’s not far from their dorms after all. But not yet, apparently.  
Until then he allows himself to watch for a moment, as Riku cups his own face with his hands and shakes his head as if he's trying to calm himself down.

_Cute._

But as much as he enjoyed the view it wouldn’t be right to keep Riku waiting, so he steps out of the building's shadow into the evening sun’s light and immediately feels a certain pair of red eyes on him. 

“Tenn-niiii!” Riku shouts and runs towards him, "I'm really happy you came! Happy Birthday!" 

Reflexively Tenn reaches for Riku’s arm. “No running! Especially not on the street.” 

Abruptly stopped by his grip, Riku fails to slow down, almost crashing into him.  
The smile on his face gets replaced by a pout and Tenn can’t help but feel a little sorry. Maybe he should be a little less harsh. Just for today.

“No. You know how that would end,” the rational part of his brain tells him but he shakes off the thought.  
The first mistake was agreeing to do this in the first place, but he isn’t going to break his promise.

Tenn sighs in defeat at himself, “I’m glad to see you too.”  
Yet he still fights the faint smile that finds its way onto his face as he says that.  
Maybe that’s less of a lie than he thought it would be.

“You got everything with you?” he asks, mentally checking off a list of things he should have with him when going out with Riku.

“Yep, don’t worry.” 

“Are you sure?”

“Iori checked everything too.”

Tenn has to try hard to act like he doesn’t feel like rolling his eyes at the mention of that name, but at least that means he’s on the safe side. 

Hopefully the rest would go just as safely.

“Well then,” he gives Riku one of his sweet-idol smiles that he would wear on TV, “let’s get going, right?”  
It’s better to keep his guard up this way than letting his feelings spill over and stain his brilliant image in front of Riku.

As fake as it may be, the smile still had the desired effect and Riku lights up, returning it with a genuine one.

“Yes, let’s go.”

_Everything will be fine if you don’t slip and break character._

Before he even gets to take the first step he feels the warmth of Riku’s hand against his fingers.  
And for a split second Tenn freezes in motion, considering if he should listen to the quiet voice in the back of his mind that tells him to just let it happen. 

He shouldn’t. 

So he shakes Riku’s hand off and averts his eyes. There’s no need to look to know what kind of face Riku is making right now. 

That much about not breaking character.

* * *

Crossing through a crowded shopping district they walk most of the way in silence, aside from Tenn’s occasional “This way” or “Stay close, don’t walk off”. 

It’s probably best that way but Tenn still notices the hopeful look in Riku’s eyes everytime he says something, as if he’s waiting for him to start a conversation.

After Tenn led them through a myriad of side streets he stops in front of a small diner aloof from the other shops and restaurants in the district.  
It doesn’t look shady, rather like a small family run business, but certainly not like the kind of restaurant that Tenn Kujo goes to regularly.

“Gaku said the food’s good here,” Tenn explains, expecting a surprised look from Riku but he just nods.

Suddenly remembering the time he talked about this with Gaku and Ryuu he adds “He said he only tried the soba, though.” 

“Looks like we’ll have to see for ourselves then!”

Tenn sees how Riku holds back a chuckle and thanks the heavens for making him such a forgiving person. It would kind of suck if he was still upset and Tenn would have managed to ruin this dinner before they even started.

On the other hand it would probably make a lot of things easier, something inside him says.  
It’s the same something that almost hoped Riku would hate him after he left home. Because everything could have been so much easier.  
He would have never had to deal with his feelings getting in the way again.  
He could have just locked the part of him away that would accept holding Riku’s hand.  
He could have slowly started forgetting this weak version of himself, that just stands in the way of his achievements. 

“Tenn-nii?” 

Riku’s voice brings him back to the present and he shakes his head. 

“Right. I booked a table for us.”

* * *

Besides the waitress asking in which name they reserved the table, the diner isn’t very full when they enter and everything is tinted in a slight orange by the lightning. 

“Nanase,” Tenn answers her and follows the waitress to a table in the back. 

When she disappears and they sit down Riku keeps on nervously playing with his fingers, always eyeing Tenn from the side.

At first he successfully ignores it but after a moment Tenn can’t bear the half nervous half hopeful looks Riku keeps shooting at him.  
“What is it, Riku?” he asks, already thinking he might regret this question.

Riku looks down on the table. “Uh nothing… I just wondered why you used my name instead of yours.”

Of course it would be this.

“It’s more common. I didn’t want any unwanted attention,” he responds, although that isn’t the whole truth. 

The whole truth is that, although he doesn’t regret his decision back then, he sometimes wishes things were like they used to be when he was Tenn Nanase. When they were together. And that when he lied to the waitress it had felt just a tiny bit like he could go back. 

Riku doesn’t need to know about that though.  
So he keeps the rest for himself and almost feels relieved when Riku eats the lie up with a disenchanted “Oh, okay.” before quietly staring down again.

“Anyway,” Tenn breaks the silence in an attempt to loosen up the tension, “how was your day so far?” 

“The others wanted to surprise me this morning but I was already up…” Riku says followed by an awkward laugh. 

“Why? Were you feeling sick?” 

“Oh no, I was just feeling a bit jittery I guess.”  
Even though he turns his face away, Tenn can spot the slight blush on Riku’s face when he says that. 

_So he was nervous too. That’s a sweet thought._

But no matter how— Or rather, especially because it’s so sweet Tenn brushes it aside. 

“Tenn-nii, what about you?”

“The usual… I had a recording this morning and then an interview for a magazine.” 

That’s a lie too.  
But it doesn’t stop Riku from responding “Tenn-nii’s as popular as ever eh∼” with a dreamy smile. 

How should he even respond to that?

In truth he didn’t have anything to do and spent the day walking around in his apartment like a madman because he didn’t know what to do. But if Riku knew that he would probably ask why he didn’t come meet him earlier. 

And neither the true answer nor an excuse would make him happy. 

Tenn sighs. This isn’t going like he would like it to at all.

To be fair, he would have liked to avoid this altogether and curses Gaku for talking him into agreeing to go out with Riku today in general. 

He knew from the start how this would go. That he would have to lie to Riku. And that lying to him hurts much more than it should, for someone whose life is made of lies. 

Before he actually has to come up with an answer a professional voice asking for their order luckily frees him from the awkward silence. 

Riku goes for a simple curry udon and Tenn ends up saying “The same for me then,” covering up he hasn’t thought about his order at all.

The waitress notes down their meals. “We usually serve a glass of our wine with each dinner, would you like that as well?” she says.

Normally, Tenn would decline that immediately. Mostly because he’s a minor and experience has shown that his tolerance is rather… low.  
He’s very close to doing it today too. It’s the right thing to do.

But normally he also isn’t on a not-a-date with Riku, who slowly but surely breaks down every one of the walls he spent years building up and makes him remember all of the things he likes to avoid. 

So he answers “I would like that,” and hopes he won’t regret the decision later.

“Me too,” Riku adds, leaving Tenn with a questioning look on his face.

After the waitress left, fortunately without asking for either of their ages, Tenn carefully asks “You did drink before, right?” not sure what answer he hopes for.

“Uh… yes, but only a little. At an aftershow party of a Tsukumo Pro. Event.” 

That’s probably the best response he could have hoped for, considering they work in show business. Excluding the “Tsukumo Pro.” part.

“I still had a terrible headache the next day though… But Iori took care of me.”

_Low tolerance like himself, huh? That’s not surprising._

The last bit is probably meant to reassure him but instead it just brings a sour smile on Tenn’s face.  
He should be grateful that Riku has someone like that and yet every time he feels like he should have been in that boy’s place. 

“It’s not like it’s anything personal, I’m just more qualified for taking care of Riku because I know him better,” he tells himself even though there’s no point in lying about that to himself anymore. 

Lying about it to Riku is another thing though, so he just says “Make sure you don’t overdo it.”

* * *

Both of them eat in silence and although Gaku was right about the restaurant Tenn doesn’t really feel like eating.  
Each look at his bowl makes the portion seem less appetizing, even though it isn’t even a lot.

“It’s good, right?” Riku asks between bites and Tenn just hums.

Maybe the meal will seem less impossible to finish if he washes it down with the wine. 

Not a good decision. But at least it works. 

There’s still food left when he finishes the glass so he signals a waiter walking by that he’d like a refill. Or maybe two. 

Looking up he takes a minute to watch Riku.  
It’s hard to tell if he’s ignoring Tenn or just really focused on his meal. If it’s the former he’s doing a good job at acting though, Tenn thinks. 

And he looks very cute doing it.  
As much as Tenn tried to ignore it until now Riku really put work into his looks today. He hasn’t seen that kind of dress shirt on him before but it suits him and the restaurant’s lightning really lines out his profile nicely. 

“Tenn-nii, is everything okay?” Riku looks up and Tenn notices that his face is slightly reddened already. Does he look like that too right now? He even ordered more... 

After another way too long moment of processing Riku’s words he mutters “Yeah, sure. Make sure you don’t drink too much.” and turns his face away. 

He almost expects Riku to make another comment but all he hears is a muffled giggle.

* * *

“Do you want to pay separately or together?” the waitress asks carrying their emptied bowls.

“I’ll pay,” Tenn says, reaching for his wallet.

“Then I’ll be back with the bill in a second.” 

After the waitress disappears behind the counter Riku opens his mouth but Tenn interrupts him before he can say anything. 

“I know you can pay, but so can I and I’m the one who chose this place.”

There’s nothing he can say against that. 

Besides, Riku probably wouldn’t have thought of giving a more than generous tip, hoping if someone recognized them this would keep things private, like Tenn does. 

As they’re about to get up Tenn feels Riku’s eyes on him.

“Tenn-nii, you can walk properly, right?” He looks concerned. 

“Of course I can,” he answers, “it wasn’t that much.” 

He’s certain about that. Probably. He didn’t finish his third glass for a reason. 

His sense of balance is still there. At least after letting the brain fog clear for a second after standing up.  
That’s probably why they say you shouldn’t drink when sitting down the entire time.

Even though his steps are stable, Riku doesn’t stop closely following Tenn’s movements as they step outside, where the sun has sunk behind the buildings since they entered the diner. 

It’s more quiet now. The shops nearby closed for today so they barely pass by anyone on their way through the street. 

And so there’s also no one to see how Tenn Kujo nearly trips over himself less than a minute from the restaurant they left.  
Riku grabs him by his sleeve until he stands upright again. 

“Maybe you should listen to your own advice next time,” Riku laughs, holding out his hand and adds, “Here, just for support.” 

_Yeah, just for support._

Reluctantly and definitely only for support Tenn intertwines their fingers, pretending to ignore the mischievous smile on Riku’s face. He’s too kind to him.

At that moment, he isn’t sure what’s happening to his brain but he opens his mouth and for once the truth slips out.

“Sorry for ruining your birthday, Riku.” 

Riku’s eyes widen. “Why? I’m glad I’m the one who can help Tenn-nii for once.” 

“No, Riku,” his voice gets quiet, “I mean earlier.” 

For a second it looks like Riku’s face got frozen and an unusual expression overshadows his smile. 

“I know, Tenn-nii. But I’m grateful you spent time with me on our birthday, even though you don’t want to see me.” 

Tenn isn’t sure if he meant that to console him because Riku’s sad smile definitely feels more like another sting in the heart. 

“That’s not true,” he answers, not sure if it’s the truth or another lie.  
Either way it doesn’t mean anything. Not as long as he keeps up his facade.

Without another word Riku continues walking, looking anywhere but at him.  
He’s slow but Tenn willingly gets dragged along.

The minutes of silence stretch to feel like an uncomfortably long time but when Riku stops and talks again he almost wishes they would have stayed still. 

Riku’s eyes pierce into him and it feels like they’ve never been this intense before.  
“Tenn-nii,” he starts, letting go of his hand, “do you not like me?” and suddenly it’s like someone cut off his oxygen.  
“What do you mean?” is what he meant to say but what comes out is less than a whisper. 

“You always try to keep me as far away from you as possible,” Riku states and it would sound almost monotone if his eyes didn’t betray him. 

“That’s not true.” 

“You’re lying again.”

There’s clearly tears welling up in his eyes now but that’s not something that would normally stop Tenn.  
He has gone way past that before and he would do it again to protect Riku, or rather himself if he has to be honest. 

But honesty has never been his strongest suit so he just turns his face away and whispers, “It’s for the best.” 

He doesn’t expect Riku to say anything about that.  
Well, maybe another accusation, which would probably be true. But he certainly doesn’t expect him to put Tenn’s face between his hands, forcing him to watch as the tears roll down his face. 

“Riku—” 

Riku puts a finger on his lip.

“How is this better, Tenn-nii?” he asks, “why do you do this to me? This isn’t how you treat the people you love.” 

His mouth opens on its own but no sound comes out. 

Maybe because there is nothing to say. All explanations but the one he can’t bring himself to say would just add to the pile of lies.  
Besides, there really isn’t a nice way of saying he would rather die than make Riku see what kind of person Tenn Kujo really is.  
It’s better to keep him admiring a shining image from afar than letting him notice the cracks when he gets close.

But he can’t say that, so all he responds is, “You’re wrong.” 

“Then why?” 

“Because…” Tenn swallows and tries to avoid Riku’s piercing gaze. “Because you don’t know me. Or how I feel.” 

“Well then at least. At least tell me why—” Riku sobs, “Why you hate the thought of us being together so much.” 

“I don’t. I just—” His voice cracks. “I... really don’t.”

“Then…” Without letting go Riku closes the gap between them, making their foreheads touch.  
“Then this shouldn’t be a problem.”

He gently presses his mouth against Tenn’s.  
Unable to say anything he just stares back at Riku for a moment and even though he can’t bring himself to kiss back his lips part a tiny bit at the touch. 

“Right?” Riku whispers against his lips when they part and wipes the tears from his eyes. 

“You know, Tenn-nii, I can get to know you again if I have to,” he pauses as if he’s waiting for Tenn to interrupt but he just stands there looking back at him.  
“But I don’t think you realize how much I know.”  
Although he tries to say that with a smile there’s fresh tears rolling down his cheeks. 

Without a response Tenn averts his eyes again and this time Riku doesn’t stop him.

“I know you probably had time earlier today, but pretended to be busy to avoid spending the whole day with me.” 

Tenn flinches. 

“I know you got mad when I said I went to the Tsukumo Pro. Event. earlier.”

“That’s wrong. If you go there for a job that’s fine. I only got upset because of all the people you were there with Io—” He stops himself. That’s a truth he shouldn’t say out loud.

“Listen,” Riku takes both of Tenn’s hands and attempts to clear his throat, “I probably buy at least half of the lies you try to sell me and… And trying to find out the truth is even harder. But—” his voice betrays him once again, “but whatever you’re hiding it’s okay for me.” 

“Riku it’s—”

 _“It’s different,”_ he wants to say but the lie won’t leave his lips.

“I don’t need to know everything. But I can’t imagine a version of Tenn-nii I wouldn’t love.”

A sound, that would probably be a bitter laugh if Tenn was in a better condition, escapes him.  
“You think so?”

“Of course. Tenn-nii you’re… dazzling.” 

Tenn wants to cut him off but Riku shakes his head. 

“I don’t only mean when you’re on stage. I mean as long as I can remember. There has never been anyone shining as brightly as you.”

For a long second Riku looks at him and then raises his hand up to his cheek, wiping a tear that Tenn didn’t know he cried.

“Even right now,” he whispers, bringing their faces together again.

If he was being logical Tenn would stop Riku right now and reject him once and for all. It’s the perfect chance to finally let go.  
But, blame it on the alcohol or his feelings, the part of him that is way too weak to Riku and his sweet words gains the upper hand and instead of Riku he lets himself go.

“You’re dazzling too, Riku.” He pulls him closer and kisses him softly, as if he’s scared Riku might reject him all of a sudden. But he doesn’t.

“Especially now,” he whispers, looking through the misty film of his own tears.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading if you made it until here jghjdghd  
> i decided to write this very impulsively and its the first time i ever finish something for tennriku but uhhhh yeah. i just love them very much and hope ill manage to put out more for them


End file.
